Conversation of the Day

Scene Set:
Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Ding Dong (I have a VERY loud doorbell)
Awake from Dayquil induced nap.
Tumble down stairs.
See mailman.

Mailman:  (rapid fire, emphatic, loud)You live here? You have a key to your mailbox? How long you lived here?
Me: Uhhh, couple months
Blahblahblah (small talk)
Mailman: You single?
Me: Uh, Yeah.
Mailman: You dating anybody?
Me: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, ummmm, yes, no, sort of a few...uhhh...yeah (notice how gracefully I maneuvered through that).
Mailman: Can I call you some time?
Me: Uh, no.
Mailman: Alright, well, I'll just leave your mail under your mat.
Me: Thanks! (wave)

End Scene.