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Monday, March 19, 2012

Now Playing: The Gun Show

It is with great pain that I write this. Literally, from my chest down my arms, through my fingers, I hurt.

You see,  some people expressed envy of my long-ish legs, straight hair, I oddly enough get complimented on my feet which is a running joke in the family. 

One thing I've never heard people jealous of is my upper body strength.  You know why?  BECAUSE I HAVE NONE!

Zero.
Zilch.
Nada.

On a scale of weak to strong, I hover somewhere around overcooked spaghetti.  So in the effort to reach some fitness targets I've added some weight-training to the regimen, which started this morning.  At the very early hour of 5:30 I rolled out of bed and made my way over to my body pump class, lead by a highly caffeinated instructor. 

Having been to various weight classes before, I knew to aim low when it came to picking my weight.  That bar is deceptively heavy, I'll have you know.  So I tacked on 5lb weights to either end and knew I'd be in for an achievable struggle.

Forty minutes in, I was done, cooked, pushed, pulled, squated, rowed, pressed, done.  Tricky part is is that there were still 20 minutes left in class.  I took a quick swig of water which was the poorest decision of the morning.  I instantly felt nauseous.  I couldn't lift my arms and now I was going to puke.  It was time for an exercise of mind over matter.  By the grace of God alone I made it through without puking or fainting.  It was a miracle of miracles.

I hobbled out, drove home and got ready for my day. It hurt to shampoo my hair, blow dry my hair, apply eyeliner, put on tights, open the car door, basically anything that involves lifting my arms further than 4 inches from my body.  Hell, it hurts just to sit. 

Here it is, 14 hours later and I've just rubbed my pecs (the most manish thing I could probably say) with tiger balm and tossed back a couple of advil. My body is pissed. 

But, I've got goals I'm aiming for somewhere in between Michelle Obama and Gwyneth Paltrow guns.  Even if it kills me, which half-way through this morning, I thought it might.

So, all that to say, happy friggin' Monday!


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