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Monday, July 6, 2009

Countdown to 200 Miles: 5 Days

Monday: 5 Days to “Race” Day (I use quotes because this is hardly a “race”)

Bought Day 2 riding outfit today. Riding shorts, riding jersey, fancy socks, chamois butt’r (let’s not talk about it). Buying riding shorts goes on the list with jeans and swimsuits as “Articles of Clothing that Make You Feel Bad About Yourself.” It can be traumatic.
Now, let me explain why this is such a painful experience.
1.) Riding pants are essentially spandex. Except, riding short are spandex that have extra elastic around the legs to achieve that extra bulging sausage look. And while spandex does have a stretch threshold, all my business exceeds that threshold. Gross.
2.) There is extra padding in the rear (and other sensitive areas) to make riding more comfortable. This makes your butt look exponentially larger than it already is. I won’t go into details about how it feels but its not good. Ugh.
3.) Spandex is just not comfortable, under any circumstance, so when you don’t feel comfortable it really hard to look good.

I’m going to try and get a short ride in tonight on the trail just to try out the new shorts. We’ll see how it goes. I have Tim Riggins, Jason Street and Lyla Garrity entwined in a scandalous heartbreaking high school love triangle that might serve as a better use of my time as I “rest” for the big “race.”

I’ll let you know how that plays out.


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