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Thursday, February 28, 2013

You Fool

Program Officer: So do you want to meet at 8:00 am before your day of meetings?
Me: Well, this headcold might be pneumonia by tomorrow morning but sure, I'll be here.
Program Officer: Well, I mean, you could call in….

She was mostly joking….and kind of not. 

I, however, googled pneumonia when I got home and according to the internet, I have 48 hours to live.  Overall I'm feeling ok except for that the shooting pain from lungs filling with fluid resonating around the back of my lungs isn't super pleasant.

Going to boot camp on Tuesday was my undoing when I told myself I was going to sweat out my "allergies". Well, I've made better decisions. 

Which is of course. this is all a good analogy for how I operate in my life:  go through life ignoring the underlying subtle issues. Calling them something they're not. And, just power through because I'm smart enough, strong enough, powerful enough, willing enough, stubborn enough, and just plain crazy enough.  Well, that is until the body totally shuts down.  They say mind over body, but I'm learning this may not be quite true.  I'm beginning to  think it's mind over body until body  says, "You fool."  Well played body. *mustremember*

I also had a date last night that I had to pretend I was healthy.  He was a good guy.  The good guys don't really make for crazy stories and that's probably a good sign.   He's one of those guys that has a stable job, doesn't live with is parents, has a solid command of the English language as a former reporter and now in PR and politics, in his mid-30s, can carry on a conversation, is attentive and asks related questions. I don't even know how to react around such normalcy any more.   Heck, just the night before, the homeless 32 yr old ex asked asked me what is was like to "have a full time job and work EVERY DAY"and then proceded to pull his tooth brush out of his bag and make a makeshift sleeping spot on my floor.  Like one does......   

Well, body, I get it.  Thanks for the reminder.  You win this round. 

Off to bed after a swig of cough suppressant. *hacksupleftlung* 


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